Before Maverick was born, I had no idea I would want to be at home with him so much. I thought he would be at home with Christopher or Nana, so he was taken care of, he would be fine.
After he was born, I was pretty sure I wanted to stay home with him, but didn't know how we could make it work. Families HAVE to have 2 incomes, don't they?
When I went back to work and was made to feel like the worst teacher ever, I knew I wanted to stay home. But, all teachers can talk about now is the budget cuts. I felt lucky to have a job.
But, when Maddie passed away, I KNEW I HAD to stay home. Our sweet baby Maverick is so precious. I don't want to miss anything! I sit here now, tears streaming down my face thinking about what Kellie must be going through. I just want to hold Maverick and never let him go.
Money is going to be tight. We are not going into this thinking it is going to be all sunshine and roses. But, we have made some major changes... and God was pretty helpful too. We called our landlord to see if he had any cheaper properties, and he said we could stay here and he would lower rent. I didn't even fathom that could happen. We lucked into it because there are 4 units here and 2 are empty, and I guess he didn't want another empty one. Christopher is in the process of selling his truck. He is getting a bigger, better one that he loves- and getting rid of the one that is too small that he has always hated- and its going to be paid for! We have also reduced our grocery bill significantly, cancelled HBO and showtime... small changes that have added up to a lot.
I have full, complete, unwavering faith that Christopher and God will take care of Maverick and I. What Christopher can't figure out, God will. :-)
I even found a Bible passage when I was looking at what other moms did to make it work:
Matthew 6:25For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?