Monday, January 10, 2011

Hospital Story/first day home

I realized (when Morgan pointed it out) that I never wrote about my hospital stay after Maverick was born. This is partly because I am a bad blogger and partly because it was one of the worst experiences of my life.

After the c-section, they wheeled me up to my room... By this time, it is at lease midnight, I've just given birth, had major surgery and am on all kinds of pain medicines. My nurse was African, which is only important because I could barely understand her. Anyway, all I really want to do is nurse the baby and get a little sleep before he needs me again. But she's talking to me, explaining all this stuff and I am fighting to keep my eyes open, but she keeps yapping.

She comes back every few hours to make me feed the baby (more on that later) and take blood from Maverick's tiny, brand new foot. Apparently, because he was big, they are worried about his blood sugar- even though I was not (am still not) diabetic, there was no reason to think his blood sugar was off. But she told me it was hospital policy (which it may be) and I was so exhausted and overwhelmed I didn't fight it. Just the first in a series of things that I did wrong. Just for the record, his blood sugar was fine.

She keeps coming back to make me feed the baby. I was adamant that I wanted to breastfeed exclusively, no formula. I managed to do that for the first day, with objections from the nurse who was trying to get me to supplement the whole time. Seriously, every time she came in she would tell me he "needed" formula.

I was still completely unable to move, I was confined to the bed due to the anesthesia and drugs in my system. I'm still in the same hospital gown I wore for surgery, and hooked up to a catheter. Poor Christopher had to do everything! I love that man so much. I knew that before, but we definitely got much closer in the first few days after Maverick was born. (He saw inside my body after all, lol)

The day nurse was a little better, but not super helpful. The lactation consultant was awesome. She was so helpful and patient. During the day, there was no problem with breastfeeding at all. Maverick never really latched willingly to the right one, but he was still eating breastmilk...

The next night - guess who my nurse is again- mean African lady. She keeps harping on me that he NEEDS formula. Exhausted, overwhelmed and at the time thinking I was doing what was best for my baby, I finally agreed to supplement. The hospital used Similac formula and Maverick was not able to handle it at all. Every time he would eat formula he would projectile vomit everything he had just eaten. Mind you, at this point he is TWO DAYS OLD. The nurse wouldn't help, she wouldn't give us any other kind of formula because she said "formula doesn't hurt babies tummies"... umm yes it does. I'm a brand new mom and even I knew that. I don't know what her deal was with the effing formula! Also, to make matters worse, the building I was in was on limited power for some reason and I had NO TV ALL NIGHT! This is a problem because I have to have the TV to sleep... This was one of the worst nights of my life, seriously. I could not get anyone to listen to me or help me.

Looking back now, I should have demanded a new nurse or something. Or had a member of my family bring some other kind of formula. But hindsight is always 20/20. I hate to keep blaming everyone else, because I SHOULD have done something different, but I was barely able to move, on heavy drugs, scared, overwhelmed and stupid.

Both Christopher and I knew we would not survive another night like the last one, so when the doctor came in to check on my we asked if there was anyway I could go home a day early and he said yes! Thank God! Now we were off to our own house.

We were so not prepared to check out. We had only like 2 hours to get ready. Nothing was packed, and people kept coming in to bring us stuff. I was so happy, because I could finally eat solid food and everyone kept coming in and I didn't even get to eat all of my food...

When we got out to the car, his carseat was adjusted for a normal weight baby, not a 10 pound, 6 ounce baby, so that was interesting. We had to stop and fix it before we could put him in.

The first day you bring the baby home is scary! Maverick was still having issues with formula, still really throwing up. I don't mean spit up, like a normal baby. I mean projectile, like the exorcist. That night was a bad night too. He wasn't able to keep anything down. We tried two different kinds of formula but I think his tummy was too upset already. He was so frustrated, he wasn't able to breastfeed either... We ended up having to take him to the pediatrician first thing that morning because we thought maybe he had a milk allergy. But, at the doctor he was able to calm down and take some formula!

About breastfeeding- it is HARD! I just thought it was going to be so easy. I had no bottles, no idea about formula. I decided to try to pump the milk, but I would pump for 30 minutes and only get half an ounce... so Maverick is formula fed... I have a lot of guilt about not breastfeeding, but that's for another blog :-)


  1. When I had my son he was premature and 4 lbs 4 oz and I was determined to breastfeed. And yes, it is hard! They kept telling me at the hospital that at his weight it was more important THAT he ate rather than WHAT he ate in order to gain weight. I was so disappointed, but I still pumped and gave him breast mile whenever I could. He had a really hard time latching on because he was so small, so what I did was continue to pump and then just mix a scoop of formula in with the breast milk to fortify it with more calories. It worked out well for him, so maybe if you haven't tried that already it could be something that works for you. I totally agree with you about the formula being the issue, though. It is more complex and difficult to digest and as soon I stopped breastfeeding and giving my son formula exclusively he became constipated for weeks. Good luck, I hope you find something that works for both of you.

  2. My midwife gave me a prescription for pills to increase the milk supply, but I never filled it. I gave up too soon... I will add that to the already growing list of things I will do differently with my next child...

    I usually try to do things as naturally as possible, and I hate that he is getting preservatives and additives, but everyone keeps telling me that millions of babies have used formula, and they are fine. Even my midwife said that... so I'm just going to do my best to get over the guilt, and know that at least he is loved :-)