Friday, January 21, 2011

86 days

When I go back to school I will have 86 school days until summer.

86 days seems like an eternity.

Thats 86 times I will have to get up at 5:30, while Maverick is still sleeping and leave him.

Thats 86 times I will have to be at working teaching other people's kids, while someone else is with mine. Being a teacher requires a great deal of emotional investment in the students. They need me to give them 100 percent. But so does my child. Where will I find 200 percent?

Thats 86 times I will come home EXHAUSTED. Hopefully not too exhausted to play with Maverick for the few minutes he will be awake.

Thats 86 times I will only get to see my baby for a few hours before he goes to sleep.

Thats 86 times I may miss something. In the next 6 months that I will be working, he will roll over, sit up by himself and possible crawl. Someone else will get to see it.

Thats 86 times for the anger, hurt, resentment, anxiety, and depression to grow. People tell me it will get easier. I think people are full of shit.

1 comment:

  1. I just stumbled across your blog and I too and am a teacher and just went back to work 3 weeks ago and I am so struggling with it. I can't wait for Summer either! It seems like a long time away.