4 month check up

Today Maverick had his 4 month well baby check up.

He weighs: 18 pounds 7 ounces- 97th percentile
Length- 27 inches- 97th percentile
head- 17.5 inches- 95th percentile

I was pretty sure he was 20 pounds, but I'm relieved that he is 18 because that puts him further into the "normal" category for a baby his age.

* He wears 6-9 month clothes. I have no idea what size shoes he wears, because he doesn't wear shoes. He doesn't walk, so I really don't see the point in shoes.
* He can roll over from his back to his tummy
* He loves his hands and feet. He puts both in his mouth and is entertained by them for short periods of time.
* Nana introduced him to Barney. He loves it. At night, he refuses to go to sleep, so he is usually fussy... until he hears Barney. He will sit and watch it for the full 30 minutes. He doesn't really care for any other shows. I don't really like for him to watch tv (he is only 4 months old after all) but he is talked to and read to and sand to more than most kids, so I think its going to be ok.
* He is eating rice cereal, bananas and pears. I was going to make all of his baby food, but I did give him Earth's Best Organic pears. I will introduce new foods to him a little at a time. Next will be apples because he has already had apple juice, so I know he isn't allergic.
* He's really interested in us when we eat. He will follow the fork from your plate to your mouth. Then he opens his mouth and is irritated when no one feeds him.
* He doesn't really like having his picture taken. He will be smiling and laughing and I will try to get it and he will stop. I think he's on to me.
* the doctor said two different times he was ahead. (because he rolls from back to front rather than the other way, and because he puts his feet in his mouth)
* He LOVES bath time. He will splash and splash. Here is a picture of him in the bath tub. (picture blurred in case he ever wants to be president)

We will soon be finding a new pediatrician. The current one really made me mad today. We have made the choice not to vaccinate Maverick, which she knows about, and she ROLLED HER EYES AT ME. Umm, if you don't agree with my decision, that's fine. But just because you are a "doctor" doesn't give you the right to talk down to me. She was really condescending and I did not appreciate it. She tried to make me feel foolish for our decision and wouldn't accept the standard "we just don't feel it is for us". She wanted me to defend my position, but she knew from the start that she was going to "win" the argument. None of this happened last time, with this same doctor. 

As a general rule, I like to do things as naturally as possible. We don't really eat healthy, but we do eat mostly organic, and I try to buy only natural meats for Christopher. (I'm a vegetarian) Maverick isn't circumcised, because God gave him that foreskin for a reason, and I didn't think it was my place to cut a piece of him off. So I'm really not comfortable having foreign substances injected into my child's bloodstream. And the vaccinations may or may not cause Autism, auto-immune disorders, etc... and once its done, it cannot be undone. So I don't regret our decision not to vaccinate at all. But now I'm irritated because I have to find a new pediatrician. 

Blogging

I started this blog to record my pregnancy, and now Maverick's life. I've never been much of a diary or journal person, because what is the point of writing for just myself to see? I write to entertain, which I hope I have done in my latest, post-Paxil posts. (Say that 3 times fast)

I frequently think about blogging. Sometimes something will happen and I will think "I should blog about this." I'm not really sure why, as I only have 6 followers, but that's not really the point. I do this for me. Like, the other day when we left Maverick with my cousin Kendale- it was the first time he's been with anyone besides me, Christopher or Nana- that would have been a good blog, to record my anxiety about that. (I couldn't even EAT- that never happens!) Or Maverick's new Barney fascination. (He's not quite 4 months old, not sure why he even knows about Barney, but when you put it on, he stops and he will stare at it for like the whole 30 minutes. I'm still not sure why Nana put TV on for him when I SPECIFICALLY told her not to, but I guess that's better than a lot of things she could be doing. I know he is loved by her, so I can overlook this) See, wouldn't this have made a great blog post?

Anyway, I want to blog, but then I get home and see my sweet Maverick and I completely forget about everything. I know I should be doing lesson plans, or making dinner or laundry or any number of things that are falling behind. I don't want to do any of them. We can have cereal for dinner again. I want to play with Maverick. All day when I am at work, I'm wondering what he is doing.

I also occasionally want to blog to relieve stress. Like when I had a bad day at work. But, I am a teacher and they frown on publicly bashing colleagues or parents. I just read a news story about a lady that vented on her blog. I don't want to be a news story, so I will keep my thoughts to myself. 
But I think it would be helpful to write about them sometimes. Being a teacher is great. I love teaching Kindergarten, the students make my day. It is the adults that cause problems. I look forward to my new job, where I am valued, respected, and irreplaceable.

T minus 56 school days until I am a stay at home mom. :-) WOOHOO

Savings, anxiety and rolling over

And the award for most random title goes to... me :-)

Savings
As part of my efforts to be a stay at home mom, I have made it my mission to save on as many things as possible. Maverick needed a jumper. So we went to Kid to Kid and Once Upon a Child and I didn't like any of them that they had. I'm a teacher, I have to have things as educational as possible... So I went to Babies R Us. The one I liked was 119.99, so we didn't buy it. I never buy something that expensive without doing online research to see if I could find it cheaper. Long story short, I never did the research (more on that later) but I decided he needed it asap, so I went back to BRU to get it. They had a floor model on sale for 45.90! I was so excited!

Here he is enjoying his new bouncer (after it was *thoroughly* cleaned) And, he doesn't even care that it was the floor model. That's my boy ;-)

Anxiety. 

As you may notice, the tone of my blog has changed. It has gone from whiny, depressing, whoa-is-me, to my normal comical self. This is a result of the wonders of Paxil. For those of you who are not acquainted with my dear friend Paxil, it is an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant. It really makes me feel like ME again. Maybe now we can get on with this blog with a sense of humor :-) A few posts ago, you will notice that I mentioned one of the side effects was anxiety. Well, I am happy to announce that I am not having that symptom, but I am having another- low appetite! Its a win-win! But maybe now I can get on with my life, instead of living in a cloud like I have been for the last few weeks/months. I wasn't wanting to do anything, I was crying all the time, my heart would race, and the most scary- my thoughts would be fuzzy, almost like I was disoriented. Scary stuff! But I think I'm back. Look out world :-0 

Rolling over. 

My dear, sweet, gifted Maverick rolled over today. For the last few days, he has been rolling up on his side, but he wasn't quite sure how to get his arm out of the way. So tonight when he was on his side, I was watching him (because that's what I do) and he just roooolllleeeeddd over. I say it like that because the whole thing seemed to take a lllllloooooonnnnngggg time. So I called Christopher down and he immediately noticed that Maverick was on his tummy and when he went up, he was on his back. So, Christopher put him back on his back and he did it again! And he's been doing it all evening. SO CUTE! 

So that was my day. I must go now because I hear Maverick saying AHHahhAHHahh to Christopher. Thats his new thing- yelling. Not like he's upset, just a loud voice. Its quite cute- I think even you would agree. :-)

Spoiled

People keep telling me I am spoiling Maverick... so let me get a few things off my chest.

Yes, he sleeps in the bed with us. He will continue to do so until he doesn't want to, or until he gets married, whichever comes first. I would still be sleeping in the bed with Nana and Pal if I was able. Do you know how that made me feel? Loved.

Yes, when Maverick is so sleepy his eyes are heavy and he's making his sad face, we drive him in the car. It relaxes him,  and he goes to sleep. Maverick will NEVER be allowed to "cry it out". I think that is cruel. When I tried for two years to get pregnant, I was fully aware that sleeping for me would be a luxury.

Yes, my husband and I like being with him. We do go on date nights once in a blue moon, but for the most part, I prefer to play with Maverick. Once again, when I tried to get pregnant for 2 years, I knew that time alone with Christopher would be a luxury. We like spending time as a family.

Yes, we have made the choice that I will be a stay at home mom. Yes, I do know how many sacrifices I will have to make. Yes, I'm more than ok with that. Hand to God, I will give up eating if that's what it takes. I've been building up fat for years, I will be fine :-) Let me see, is it more important that I get my nails done, or be home to see my son grow up? HMM... On that note, I will always put his needs before mine. Always.

Get used to it people. There will be many things in the coming years that people don't like that I do. I might even buy him a brand new car when he's 16! GASP!

What y'all call spoiled, I call loved. If I achieve one thing in this life, I want Maverick to know that I love him. Fully, unconditionally, without measure. I will NEVER take a single moment of his life for granted.

Anxiety

I got a prescription for anxiety\anti-depressants filled on Friday. Among the frightening list of side effects- anxiety. Umm, does anyone else see a problem with that?!

But in all seriousness- I had to do something. I can no longer spend all day Sunday with a sense of dread that I have to work or cry the whole way there every morning.

I've never really been one to take medicine. Especially one that interferes with your brain so much. But I knew I was headed down a dark road and I felt a responsibility to Maverick, Christopher and myself to get help for myself before I got too bad.

I hope they help me make it through the remainder of the year. 66 days!

Meaningless

I have been wanting to blog, but suddenly my ordinary life doesn't seem all that bloggable.

I have been obsessively reading Kellie's blog about the pain she feels after her baby Maddie passed away. She has let us in her life at the most painful time any of us can imagine. Actually, I can't imagine it. I have been trying for a week to NOT imagine my sweet Maverick being taken away.

Suddenly it doesn't matter that my assistant principal thinks in incompetent, that I'm gaining back all the weight I lost after Maverick was born, that my students made basically no progress in the 12 weeks I was on maternity leave, that my check engine light came on...

If you will notice, most of my recent blog posts have been about leaving Maverick. I leave before it is light outside and get home just in time for him to eat and go to sleep. But the truth is I am lucky. Because he is there when I get home. When I get home he looks at me and smiles it makes my heart melt.

So, I will treasure every precious moment I have with him, and just know that I only have to be gone from him for 66 more school days... until then, I will try to focus on the time I HAVE with  him, rather than the time I don't.

My dream job...

Before Maverick was born, I had no idea I would want to be at home with him so much. I thought he would be at home with Christopher or Nana, so he was taken care of, he would be fine.

After he was born, I was pretty sure I wanted to stay home with him, but didn't know how we could make it work. Families HAVE to have 2 incomes, don't they?

When I went back to work and was made to feel like the worst teacher ever, I knew I wanted to stay home. But, all teachers can talk about now is the budget cuts. I felt lucky to have a job.

But, when Maddie passed away, I KNEW I HAD to stay home. Our sweet baby Maverick is so precious. I don't want to miss anything! I sit here now, tears streaming down my face thinking about what Kellie must be going through. I just want to hold Maverick and never let him go.

Money is going to be tight. We are not going into this thinking it is going to be all sunshine and roses. But, we have made some major changes... and God was pretty helpful too. We called our landlord to see if he had any cheaper properties, and he said we could stay here and he would lower rent. I didn't even fathom that could happen. We lucked into it because there are 4 units here and 2 are empty, and I guess he didn't want another empty one. Christopher is in the process of selling his truck. He is getting a bigger, better one that he loves- and getting rid of the one that is too small that he has always hated- and its going to be paid for! We have also reduced our grocery bill significantly, cancelled HBO and showtime... small changes that have added up to a lot.

I have full, complete, unwavering faith that Christopher and God will take care of Maverick and I. What Christopher can't figure out, God will. :-)

I even found a Bible passage when I was looking at what other moms did to make it work:

Matthew 6:25For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?